Warning: pre transition photo of me.
My wife and her friend Megan on our wedding day
So, there is this awesome show called Fuzzy Fest in Houston that benefits animals in need. The first time my band played it is when I met my wife. I was not out yet, and looking very androgynous. Jason (my drummer and BFF) and I had just pulled up to the venue, and as we walked down the side walk towards the door a beat up blue car covered in stickers pulled into the parking space next to us. Now, I’ve never believed in love at first sight, but the girl that got out of that car was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I was obsessed at first sight, if not in love. I would later find out she thought Jason and I were a gay couple…I did have a cup cake belt buckle on. She asked us if she could park there, because she thought we lived in the neighborhood (probably because we were cleaner than most of the crust punks that attended the show). We told her that we weren’t sure, because we were going to the show and had never been in the area before. She stood in the front the whole time my band played, and I couldn’t stop staring! After we played, she told me that she loved my band and bought a cd. I told her to like us on facebook, and I would send her a friend request.
My wife the day we met.
We started to flirt a bit, and made plans to hang out at my next show in Houston. She ended up having to work late so this didn’t pan out 😦
I did get her phone number, though, and we started texting each other. During this time, we flirted more and more, and I really started to like her. This was crazy, I was generally being a slut in my home town and had plenty girls who I should have been more interested in just based on proximity. But she was so cool, and so freaking hot! We made plans to meet up before a show I was playing in Galveston.
This couldn’t be considered an official date, because I was there with Jason, but it was a start. We all went to eat at a very touristy seafood place that overlooked the water. I think it was called Fisherman’s Warf, or something like that. We joked back and forth awkwardly due to nerves, and then went to the show. We talked the whole time the other bands played, and drank a few beers to calm the nerves, and she just kept getting cooler and cooler. You see, I’m very sarcastic and dry so I’m used to people either not getting me or just thinking I’m an asshole, but she had a snarky reply to everything I said, which made me more attracted to her. After my band played, we talked in the alley behind the bar for hours. We talked about everything from my first marriage, to her two year old daughter, to growing up in religious homes. If this wasn’t enough, we drove to the beach, because I haven’t seen the ocean since I was 4 or 5. We stood in the water letting the waves crash into us for hours. I wanted to kiss her so bad my body ached.
As I said before, I was a bit of a slut, so kissing a girl should have been no problem, but it was like I was a freshman in high school again. I was so nervous. We went to the apartment of a friend of Jason and I in Houston and talked until the sun came up. We hugged goodbye and stared in each other’s eyes for a while, like those weird moments on the X-files were Skully and Mulder look like they are going to kiss, and just like on said show, we went our separate ways. Unfulfilled.
I was smitten. I stopped dating, I couldn’t be the slut I had been before. It felt wrong. We started texting everyday. She even planned to drive to my home town to see me under the pretense that she was coming to watch my band. When she found out she was going to have to miss my show for work, she drove up anyway. This time I didn’t miss the opportunity to kiss her. We spent most of the night making out on my couch.
After that, we started spending almost every other weekend together. We had fallen in love, and we started something I never thought I would ever do…a long distance relationship. Long distance sucks. There is a silver lining though, every time we were together we fucked like bunnies. It was hard to think about the future, how could this last? We lived over three hours away from each other. How could this ever end? I was more honest with this woman than I had ever been with anyone. I didn’t tell her I was trans, although I did tell her I wanted to look like Andrej Pejic. This was before she became Andreja.
Eventually, we moved in together. I told her I was gender fluid(how I identified at the time). She didn’t care. She doesn’t believe in hard genders and she’s bi. After about a year of living together, we were married and moved to Austin. She found out she was pregnant(we are having a little boy):):):). I started seeing a gender therapist, and decided to come out as a full blown trans woman. She has been the most supportive person in the world. I can’t believe I found her. I’m so lucky to have her in my life.
This is us before My transition.